


it's been a while

by who_won_the_race_back_home



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, i wrote this mainly so there'd be more trans smut written by trans people on here, porn with a side of plot? plot with a side of porn? who knows, they are both bad at feelings so they just have sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 00:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_won_the_race_back_home/pseuds/who_won_the_race_back_home
Summary: Felix visits Tony while he's hiding out. Set between season 3 and 4.





	it's been a while

Felix felt guilty. He never called, never checked in with Tony after he left on his bus to wherever it was he ended up. Art never actually said, probably for his protection. But he never called, and Tony didn’t either. At this point though, sometimes it was all too much and sometimes no news was good news. There would be stretches of days or a week where Felix didn’t even think about him. There was too much else going on. Sarah and Mrs. S and Kira, Alison and Donnie, Cosima, and Krystal now too. He put everything he could into trying to untangle all of that mess and keep his family safe. As safe as they could be. Even though sometimes they were all ungrateful assholes. Except Kira. He would swallow glass and walk through fire for that kid.

Which was why he wanted to hear a familiar voice. One that wasn’t as tied up in all of this bullshit as the rest of them. And then there was the guilt, and wanting to know Tony was okay. He needed Tony to be okay.

He dug through a pile of drop cloths and half-finished paintings to find the box he stashed all the old clone phones in. Tearing through one of his many junk drawers, he found a pre-paid top off card (and how civilization lived on loading their phones with minutes from plastic scratch off cards, he would never know), and dialed.

It didn’t immediately cut off, so it was still working. But Tony didn’t pick up either. Which was honestly less surprising than the phone working at all. A generic voicemail message greeted him and he realized he didn’t know what to say.

“Tony, imagine this is me spinning some wonderfully witty, yet biting remarks. Consider me uninspired this evening. I wanted to make sure you and that absurd silver tooth of yours are still alive, so give me a ring back, yeah?”

He hung up and worried his lip between his teeth, hoping.

* * *

 

A couple days later, he was tidying up before Teddy came by for his regular appointment. A loft strewn with beer bottles and full ashtrays wasn’t a great aesthetic for business. Most of the time anyway. As he went to take the garbage downstairs, the green clone phone began vibrating against the kitchen table. Felix rushed over, the number reading as unknown. He quickly picked up.

“Tony?” he said.

“Good to know you still remember me, Fee F-”

It was him all right. “I swear to god Tony, I will strangle you through the phone if you finish that sentence,” Felix said.

Tony laughed. “Missed you too, babe.”

Felix could hear the smirk in his voice, and was relieved that he was alright enough to be little shit over the phone.

“Where are you?” he asked.

Tony was quiet for a long moment. “Don’t know if it’s safe to say. But I’ve been all over. Seen suits a couple of times since I left, had a close call outside Winnipeg. Haven’t seen ‘em in a while, though. But you never know who’s listening, especially with those phones you guys are always using.”

“You kept it anyways, though.” Felix said.

“Just staring out the window, hoping that special boy would call,” Tony replied, deadpan.

Felix gave a half-hearted chuckle and sighed. “I’m so sorry, Tony. Its been--there’s a lot that’s happened since you left. I don’t even know if I could begin to explain it all. But, if it makes you feel better, I doubt that you are very high on their priority list anymore.”

“Always been told I wasn’t anything worth paying attention to.” Tony laughed. “But y’know, I get it. ‘S alright. Just glad you aren’t dead. Don’t know if I could deal with another one.”

“Well, somedays I get closer than others, but I’ve somehow lucked out so far,” Felix said.

“Amen to that.” Tony paused. “Ah, fuck it. I’m around Thunder Bay right now. Been here a week or so, probably stay a bit longer if it keeps quiet.”

He gave Felix an address for a motel, told him to stop by if he wanted to catch up, putting as much innuendo into it as possible.

After they hung up, Felix mulled. Mrs. S had left the keys to the truck while all of them hid out in Iceland, just in case he needed it. It was probably not the greatest idea in the world to be driving it 1000 miles across the province when Dyad was practically next door to his loft, but like Tony said, it had been quiet for a bit. There might not be another chance. Peace wasn’t sustainable, it was only a matter of time before this came crashing down on all of their heads.

So fuck it. He was going to drive 15 hours across Ontario to see Tony.

* * *

 

Canada was deathly boring. Felix had been in the country for most of his life, but had never really traveled much outside the bubble between Toronto and Montreal. He now saw the reason for that, just tiny towns with the same gas stations and Tim Hortons and shitty motels and vast spaces of nothing in between. It was pretty enough, but no country deserved this much space.

He didn’t sleep the night before, just stayed up and left at six in the morning. So by hour four of driving he felt dead inside. By hour ten he wasn’t sure if he was actually just driving in a circle and passing the same town over and over again. By the time he was just about at Tony’s motel, he wanted to light the entire Trans Canada Highway on fire.

The motel wasn’t as seedy as he had been expecting. Run down with hideous stucco walls, yes, but it seemed serviceable enough. He knocked on the door to room 112 and waited. It was only 9 o’clock, but if he was living in this nowhere place, he’d probably sleep as much as possible just to pass the time. There was some shuffling behind the door and he heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

“Oh my god, your hair!” Felix said immediately.

The overgrown mullet was gone. Tony had shaved his head to a short buzzcut. His patchy beard looked like it had filled in a bit, and he had grown out his fairly sparse mustache. The haircut had the effect of hardening his face and squaring his jaw. In gray sweatpants and a white undershirt he reminded Felix of the jock boys he used to blow in high school behind the bleachers.

“Yeah, I had a, uh, paranoid moment a few weeks back, like I said, near Winnipeg. Just wanted to make it a little harder to spot me,” Tony said, running a hand over his head and shrugging. “It’s weird, but it’ll grow back.”

“It’s just a bit of a shock is all,” he said. “I like it, but I can’t believe you let them scare you enough to do it.”

“All this clone shit’s enough to make you change your perspective on a lot of things,” Tony said.

“Well, you look good for someone who I assume has been living on gas station burritos and Labatts for three months,” Felix said. “It’s good to see you, Tony.”

“Eh, I eat a gas station salad once in a while. Keeps me young.”

Tony swung the door open and motioned Felix in. “Can’t believe you actually drove all the way out here. Can’t deny my charm, man,” he said, grinning.

Felix rolled his eyes and pushed past Tony, rubbing the top of his head as he walked by. “Don’t make me regret it already.”

The room was fairly tidy. Much more so than Felix assumed it would be. A couple beer bottles on the table by the television, clothes spilling out of an army duffel bag on one of the two beds, but otherwise clean.

“I’m flattered you would clean up for little ol’ me,” he said.

“You wish, buddy. Believe it or not, I’m not an actual walking tornado of destruction.”

“Based on our limited interactions, you could have fooled me.”

Tony ignored him and offered a beer from the mini fridge. He took a small swig and sat on one of the beds, while Tony leaned against the wall.

“What are you even doing out here?” Felix asked.

Tony took a long sip of his beer. “Most of our jobs came through Sammy’s contacts. Since he got offed, none of them really seem to want to talk to me any more, so money’s been a little tough. I’ve been running all fucking over doing whatever for old buddies of mine. Keeps me moving, which is good, but it’s mostly shit I don’t like to do. Moving product, real low level, and pays fucking garbage.”

“Oh,” Felix said, quietly. “I guess we didn’t really think about-”

Tony cut him off “No, you didn’t. Or Art didn’t. Whoever the fuck. But it’s fine. I’ve been taking care of myself a long time. This shit ain’t nothing new for me.” He set down his beer and switched into a cocky grin. “Who’s taking care of you?”

“Oh my god, that was utterly terrible,” Felix said. “Does that line actually work?”

Tony laughed. “It has,” he said. “I told you, you can’t deny my charm.” He pushed himself off the wall and came over to Felix. “Are we gonna do this or what?” Tony grabbed him by his belt loops, pulling him up close.

“Are you seriously suggesting I would want to sleep with you after what you just said?”

“I’m just saying if you came out all this way you ain’t opposed to it,” Tony said, tugging again the waistband of his jeans. “And it’s hard finding time and ways to get off when you think you’re gonna get dragged into a blacked out van every time you step outside. So I just wanna make the most of the opportunities I am presented.”

Felix wasn’t surprised that Tony was so forward, but he was thrown off for just a second, his mouth going a bit dry. When he didn’t immediately respond, something flashed in Tony’s eyes, something softer, vulnerable even, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared and his face slid into a cheeky grin and raised eyebrow, asking again. And Felix wasn’t sure if this was ever going to not feel at least a little weird, but that stupid cocky smile with that even stupider silver tooth were hot, and whatever weird feeling he had wasn’t enough to stop him.

“Well, I suppose didn’t drive a thousand miles across the fucking backwoods of this province just to chat about the weather,” he said, and pulled at the back of Tony’s neck to bring him into a hard kiss.

Tony was rough, all teeth biting at his lower lip, and calloused hands sliding into his jeans to pull their hips together. It was the kind of honest urgency he had always appreciated. Felix took a moment to taste the beer on Tony’s tongue and to splay his fingers across the bristly hairs on the back of his neck. He pulled away for a second, enough to reset the pace. He kissed Tony slow and languid, urging him to be a bit softer, moving one hand to his jawline and the other down to cup his cock through his sweatpants. Tony’s body stiffened, and he pulled away.

“Sorry. Thing’s made of rubber. As much as I want it to, it’s not gonna move much for you,” he said.

“Doesn’t matter what it’s made of Tony, I still like a nice cock in my hand.”

He pressed firmly against Tony to make his point, and Tony dropped his head into Felix’s neck, groaning and moving his hips into the pressure. As he rocked into Felix’s hand he nipped his way up his throat, stopping to suck at the junction between neck and jaw.

“Christ,” Felix said, low and rough.

That got a small laugh from Tony, who squeezed his ass and drew him in closer. “If I knew I’d actually see you again, I might’ve packed a dick I could fuck you with,” Tony said, sliding a hand further down the back of Felix’s jeans and grabbing him hard.

“Oh please, as if you’re the first man I’ve dealt with who didn’t have the right dick at the right time,” Felix replied, waving a hand to dismiss the thought. “We’ll make do.”

Felix leaned down to kiss Tony again, while Tony’s hands moved up to grab Felix’s shirt and tug it up over his head. Felix tossed it behind him and pushed Tony towards the lone chair in the corner of the room. Tony sat and Felix dropped to his knees, spreading apart Tony’s legs to settle between. His hands moved to pull at Tony’s pants, but Tony grabbed them and held them against his waist. He didn’t say anything, and didn’t push away, but Felix could clearly tell he was wary.

“Like I told you, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before. Don’t think you’re so special,” Felix said, grinning and tugging again at the waistband of Tony’s sweats.

Tony hesitated a moment longer, but finally lifted his hips so Felix could slide them down his legs. Felix threw them to the side, Tony’s packer rolling out onto the floor.

“Aw dude, c’mon. It’s gonna get lint all over it,” Tony said.

Felix rolled his eyes. “Oh jesus, I will clean it. You do have running water, yeah?”

Tony nodded and made a small pout, but Felix ignored him and moved his hands up Tony’s thighs to his stomach, taking his t-shirt and tank top with him. His wrists were grabbed again, hard.

“The binder stays,” Tony said forcefully.

“Okay.” Felix said, loosening his wrists from Tony’s grip.

He leaned up from the floor to kiss Tony hot and slow, slipping his tongue between Tony’s lips and groaning softly at the reciprocation.

“How about this?” he said, taking just the white t-shirt between his fingers.

He felt Tony nod and he dragged the shirt over his head and tossed it away. Resting back on his knees, he pressed hot open-mouthed kisses down Tony’s stomach, to his hips, moving across the expanse just above his cock. Tony moaned and leaned back in the chair, and Felix took a moment to look up at him. Tony was biting his fist, eyes closed, head pressed against the back of the chair. It was one of the sexiest things he had seen in quite a while, making this little wolverine of a man slowly turn to a puddle. He felt himself grow hard against his suddenly very uncomfortably tight jeans.

“Oh, Mr. Sawicki, I am not even trying yet,” he said, ghosting his mouth down just over Tony’s cock, barely sliding his tongue over the tip of it.

“Holy shit,” Tony gasped, jerking up into Felix’s mouth. “Sorry, sor--it’s just--it’s been a while.”

Felix laughed as he kissed Tony’s hip. “Don’t worry, darling, I am just exceptionally good at what I do.”

Tony slowly rocked back towards his mouth. “Well alright. You gonna show me or what.”

Felix took the invitation and sucked Tony’s length into his mouth, running his tongue along the soft, slick underside on the way back up. He held down Tony’s bucking hips with his hands, swirled his tongue around the head of his cock, and listened to the delicious sound of what was most certainly a whimper coming from Tony’s mouth. As he moved back down, Tony pushed a hand through Felix’s hair, tugging it to encourage him.

Felix began sucking in earnest, keeping constant pressure on Tony’s cock as he went from base to tip. The hand in his hair tightened its grip, causing Felix to moan with Tony still in his mouth. He could hear Tony’s breathing go ragged.

Felix felt Tony getting close, fighting against the hands that held down his hips. He moved them down to Tony’s thighs and took his whole cock in his mouth again, sucking harder and pressing his tongue firm against the length of it. Tony moved against him, trying to create more friction. “Felix, fuck I’m-” Tony said, devolving into a low groan as his body began to shudder. He pressed into Felix’s mouth with a few quick thrusts of his hips, then slowed and slumped back into the chair, breathing hard. Felix kept Tony in his mouth for just a moment longer as Tony rode out the end of his orgasm, and then playfully began pressing his tongue against him again with purpose.

“Dude. Shit, I can’t-I gotta-” Tony couldn’t finish his thought but tapped him gently on the shoulder, asking to be let go.

Felix complied, quickly kissing the inside of his thigh. He was grabbed by the back of the neck and pulled into a hard kiss, half bent over, Tony leaning up to nip at his lower lip.

“Thanks,” Tony said, breaking away for a minute. “Like I told you, it’s, uh, it’s been a minute.”

“Don’t worry. You could hardly tell.”

Tony swatted at his ass and pulled him close by his belt loops, kissing slowly down his stomach towards the fly of his jeans. The button popped open easy and Tony slid the zipper down, keeping his mouth right above the waistband of Felix’s briefs. He pushed the jeans down just enough to uncover Felix’s very hard cock, straining quite a bit against the black fabric.

Tony hummed against his hip, “Figured you more for a commando guy.”

Felix huffed out a laugh, “Well, if I hadn’t been driving hours, but a girl has to be prepared, you know. A rare case of comfort over style.”

Tony shrugged, “ ‘s hotter this way.”

And with that he pressed his mouth on Felix over his underwear, moving down the length of his cock while cupping him through his pants. Felix closed his eyes and tilted his head back, Tony was very, very good with his mouth. But, with nothing to brace himself against, it was tough to get the footing he wanted. He picked Tony’s chin up with his fingers and nodded towards the empty bed.

“Mind if I get a bit more comfortable?” he asked.

“Get started without me. I wanna watch you,” Tony said, running a hand up Felix’s shaft to make his point.

He gave an exaggerated gasp and leaned into the touch, “I cannot say I pictured you a voyeur, Tony.”

“What can I say, I’ve got layers.”

Felix smirked, patted Tony on the cheek, and pushed his jeans the rest of the way off. He slid himself onto the bed until his back was pressed against the headboard. Tony grabbed his boxers and packer from the floor and pulled them back on, adjusting himself as he stood up. He had a swagger to him even while he stood still that made Felix bite his lip, while silently chastising himself for finding something that silly so attractive. But he was already this far into whatever this was, he figured he might as well continue to roll with it. He pulled down the elastic of his briefs to free himself, hard and desperate for any kind of contact.

Grabbing one of the chair’s arms, Tony dragged it closer to the bed and sat down, leaning far back against it, spreading his legs wide and resting a hand on a thigh. The other hand ran over his short hair a few times and settled behind his head. He waited.

As much as Felix wanted to drag it out, just to tease Tony, he couldn’t take it, and began stroking at the head of his cock, getting his hand slick, then slowly moving down his length. This was as much a show for Tony as it was for him to get off, and he definitely wanted to make Tony squirm. He groaned as he thumbed his tip, and saw Tony begin to move his hand against his thigh, inching towards his own cock.

Felix slipped his underwear the rest of the way off and shifted a knee up, planting his foot on the bed and spreading his legs wider. He started to slowly thrust into his hand and made eye contact with Tony, and watched as he began rubbing himself through his boxers, his breathing becoming heavier.

“Can I perhaps get some help over here? Don’t want to be the one doing all the work tonight,” Felix said, his breath a little short.

Tony leaned forward, eyes meeting Felix’s, then moving down to where his hand was stroking. Easing himself out of the chair and onto the bed, he settled between Felix’s legs, still not touching him anywhere he needed. Felix decided a better use of his hands was to get what he wanted, so he pulled Tony down by his tank top and into a hot kiss. He bit Tony’s lip hard and Tony ground into him, making a low, little noise into Felix’s mouth.

“Fuck,” Tony breathed out.

“That’s the idea,” he replied. Tony ignored him and moved his mouth down Felix’s throat, taking a moment to suck on his pulse point, which made him pull Tony closer. Tony chuckled against his skin and continued downward while running a hand up his ribs and to Felix’s nipple. Thumbing over it, he took his teeth to the other, grazing it lightly at first, then biting. The sharp jolt of pain made Felix gasp, and Tony lifted his eyes to give him a mischievous look. Felix lightly swatted at Tony’s head, but then grasped at the back of it to keep Tony’s mouth on him. Spurred by the encouragement, Tony moved his mouth to Felix’s other nipple, sucking hard and running his firm tongue over it.

Felix’s cock began to feel uncomfortable pressed up against Tony’s stomach with no relief. He shifted his hips to try and get some friction and encourage Tony further downward. Tony got the hint and moved up to kiss Felix first, his tongue teasing. Felix shifted his body down the bed and Tony moved with him, quickly running his mouth down Felix’s torso. As Tony nipped at a hip bone, his hand ghosted up Felix’s cock. Felix let out a frustrated groan.

“Jesus christ, will you get to it.” Felix said.

Tony immediately ran his tongue up the underside of Felix’s length. “Jeez, man, all you had to do is ask,” he said.

Before Felix could get a comeback in, Tony took him in his mouth and he immediately shut up. Tony’s mouth was hot, and his tongue was moving over all the right places. After swirling over his head briefly, Tony ran one hand up his shaft while the fingers of his other pressed on his perineum, the pressure delicious and deep. Tony slid his mouth back over Felix’s tip, his hand firmly working the base, creating a steady rhythm that Felix rocked into. His breathing got hard fast, and he felt himself getting close.

Another swipe of Tony’s tongue over the soft skin right at the underside of his head, and Felix said, “Fuck, Tony.”

Tony took his mouth off of him and the hand not on his cock grabbed him by the ass and pulled him down and against Tony’s hips. Even though Tony’s cock didn’t feel hard, the forceful move was more than hot enough to make up for it. His other hand sped up and within moments Felix was moaning with tightly shut eyes as Tony made him come onto his stomach.

As he came down, Tony reached over him to grab some napkins from the night stand and cleaned him up.

“What a gentleman,” Felix said, laughing in between deep breaths.

“I try,” Tony replied, tossing the napkins into the garbage can. He settled on his back next to Felix, looking up at the ceiling. They were both quiet, breathing hard.

“When do you gotta head back?” Tony said, after a few minutes.

“I told Alison I would help her with some asinine thing or another on Saturday, since Donnie is apparently useless.”

“Donnie?” Tony asked.

“Alison’s husband,” he replied. “Your brother in law, I suppose.”

“Shit. Never thought about husbands and shit.”

“How very eloquently put,” Felix said. He paused a moment. “You’re an uncle too. Alison has two. Adopted. And Sarah has one.”

“Sarah’s got a kid?” Tony said in disbelief. “She really doesn’t seem like the type.”

“It certainly wasn’t planned.” Felix turned on his side to look at Tony. “But Kira is probably the best thing that has happened to all of us. I think you’d like her.”

Tony was quiet again, still staring at the ceiling. “Huh. Uncle Tony,” he said. “I like the sound of that.”

Felix smiled at him, a little charmed. “Well, hopefully all this nonsense settles down one day and you can meet her.”

The mention of their situation set Tony’s mouth in a straight line. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe,” he said.

He got up from the bed and pulled his pants back on. “I’m gonna go have a smoke. Shower’s there if you want,” he said, pointing to the bathroom door. “You can-I, uh-Stay the night. Don’t know if you planned to, but you can.”

Tony slipped his shoes and his t-shirt back on, grabbed the cigarettes sitting on the table and went outside. Felix laid in the bed for a few moments, unsure. He did want to stay with Tony for at least a little while longer. It was still a mystery as to what it was about that man that drew him in, but he was starting to truly make peace with never being able to figure it out. But also, any number of horrible things could have happened to everyone while he was away. Even though they were all terrible about admitting it, they needed him.

But he went and showered, and by the time he came out, Tony was back and asleep already. Felix tossed his towel onto the other bed and crawled in beside Tony. He stirred and blinked his eyes.

“I got shorts or something to sleep in if you want,” he said, groggy.

Felix laughed quietly, “Darling, what on earth makes you think I sleep with clothes on.”

Tony crooked up his mouth in a half smile and chuckled, “Just bein’ a gentleman, Felix. Just bein’ a gentleman.”

He readjusted to lay on his back, and Felix switched the light off by the bed, and turned towards Tony, tossing an arm over his stomach. Tony was asleep almost immediately, and Felix not long after, trying not to think of how to explain all this to everyone else.

**Author's Note:**

> Bless all of your hearts, but what dragged me from my fic writing hiatus was seeing poorly written smut with trans characters. You do not have to be trans to write trans characters or to write them having sex, but! maybe do a little research, watch porn made by trans people featuring trans people (it's out there, I promise), read erotica written by trans people. Because trans people have sex in lots of different ways and relate to their bodies in lots of different ways! And a lot of the time it's not in the ways cis people expect! Go forth, children, and learn!
> 
> You can hit me up at angrypedestrian.tumblr.com to discuss/argue with me about this.


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